Our Democratic Communists

Some would argue that I am easily confused. This is the case when trying to understand the political leadership in the good old Republic of South Africa.

The African Nation Congress (ANC) are the ruling party. The ANC are said to stand for democracy. Now let's define 'democracy'-
1) Government by the people, exercised either dirctly or through elected representitives.
2) Common people are considered the primary source of political power.
3) Majority rule.
4) Social equality and respect for the individual within the community.

Pretty clear. Now the waters become a little less clear. The ruling party has some friends and they form a strange alliance. The two other friends being the Congress of South African Trade Union (Cosatu) and the SA Communist Party. How many ruling political party's have a trade union (who by definition, are usually the enemy) as their best friends?

The there is the Communist party. Again let us look at a definition-this time, of 'communism.
1) A system characterised by collective ownership of property and the organisation of labour for the common advantage of the members.
2) A system of government in which the state plans and controls the economy and a single, often authitarian party holds power, claiming to make progress towards a higher social order in which all good are equally shared by the people.

I admit I am no political brain, but I do note that these two forms of government are poles apart.
What complicates matters even more is that some senior posts in government are held by members of the Communist Party, and some senior posts in the Communist Party are held by senior members of the ANC.
Often the ANC will have a press conference, mentioning SA is a democracy and behind the speakers, you will not a communist flag.

From my understanding of politics this is a worry. A warning light type of issue. Especially due to South Africa's high poverty levels, the share with everybody Communist doctrine must look very appealing to the poverty stricken. Even from my point of view, on the face of it, I would love to share in the millions of the rich. But truth be know, Communism has not worked anywhere else in the world and there is no reason why it would work here. Despite this there are calls every now and then to nationalise everything. (Based on the state run organisations, SABC, Eskom, SAA, this should be avoided. Privatisation should be welcomed)
The big 'fight' was for democracy so everybody could have say in government. (on paper- realism is far from that-another blog entry this one is).

Our new president, Jacob Zuma, is very warm towards the other two alliance partners, and this is a worry as well. The good news though, is there have been some rather large cracks forming between the ANC and the other two. Again, we will not go into this, as it is an issue by itslelf.

All I wanted to do in this entry is try to get some understanding on how a democratic ruling party, can be so intertwined with a communist party and a trade union.

And in closing, just when you think the Communists are all bad, their booing off the stage of our friend Julius Malema, does gain them a bit of respect from me.

Dreams up in Space

Many of us have dreamt of taking a trip into space- I know I have. Well, with the release of Richard Branson's commercial space programme, my dream is no closer to coming true. With a price tag of $200 000 (R1,5 million) it is slightly out of my price range.

Branson teamed up with aviation designer, Burt Rutan to develop SpaceShipTwo -SS2. Amazing how they spend years and billions creating craft, and they can only come up with bland names-The first one-VSS Enterprise-the second-VSS Voyager, both from Star Trek
Unlike what we have become used to with the Space Shuttle launches, the launch will not be one of massive rockets jetting off from a ground base in a dramatic plume of smoke and flame-SS2, will simply piggy back upon another plane- it seems this method of launching is the way things will be heading. NASA is also looking at this option to launch its new set of re-entry craft-whenever they are ready.

But back to SS2. The craft will be attached to White Knight Two-WK2 (also named Eve,which looks like an aviation version of Siamese twins, strangely joined at the wing), which will take off like any normal plane.
Upon reaching about 50 000 feet (roughly 15km), SS2 will ignite it's hybrid rocket and detach from WK2, heading up into space. It's maximum altitude is 110 km. This is not deep space, but just beyond the atmosphere. Still it give the six space tourists a whole 6 minutes of weightlessness, in which they can release their safety belts and bob around the cabin like methane filled baloons. They will also be able to see the curve of the earth.
Then it is back down to mother Earth. The entire trip will be around two and a half hours.

This is (and excuse the pun) Virgin territory for us as nobody has ventured into the commercial space travel scene before. The aim is to make space travel affordable (very subjective word this) and allow more people to access this type of travel. Virgin plans to spend more than $400 million on a fleet of five space vehicles. The first 'space' tests of SS2 begin next year and hopefully will go commercial in 2011. Having said this, it is said that 300 people have already bought tickets.

There are other entrepreneurs  in the process of creating their own fly to space for cash craft as well. Sort of like a commercial space race.
Okay, the truth is that this is good news in general-for the sake of progress and human technology. I mean wow, commercial space travel- but the reality is that, as wonderful as it may seem, unless you win the lotto, rob a bank, write an instant commercial hit, book or song, suddenly become a holly (or bolly) wood movie star, or find you had a stinking rich uncle who is now dead and you stand to inherit his fortune- you will only read about it in the papers or watch the footage on TV. So I say yipee. As much as it means for news and the rich, is as little as it means for the man in the street. Unless it becomes so cheap that us mortals can afford it.
So my dream will remain a dream....but I am going to check my family tree quick.

Fade to Green

The debate rages on whether we are to blame for global warming or not. There are even people who doubt that the earth is heating up- despite the ice caps melting, despite the glaciers becoming rivers and despite city size blocks of ice breaking off the ice masses on the poles. I guess it is human, to live in denial.

I am not going to try to convince anybody about the glabal warming or go into wonderful statistics and so on.
There can be no argument that the human race is guilty of causing pollution on the planet. We are the only species that leaves waste everywhere, that pumps millions of tons of gas into the atmosphere, that leaves blue waters dark with waste. We are killing nature with our disgusting pollution. So, whether we want to accept it, it is us. (I will not even mention the slaughter of millions of acres of trees or killing elephants because we have made their habitat smaller-humans, got to love them)

Now, it is a medical fact that there is an increase in respiratory diseases worldwide- and most specifically those nations with the largest pollution footprint. There is also no argument that pollution is the cause of this. There are many other diseases linked to pollution in one type or another. (The toxins in thousands of waste chemicals that pollute the air, land and waters also lead to poisoning.)
The simple folk who do think the earth is heating, or that freak weather patterns are occuring worldwide, turn on the so called Greens like rabid dogs, saying that global warming is a fad to make money and so on. (I mean why would anybody want a car which has water as a by product when we could be driving one spewing Carbon Monoxide like a volcano on wheels)
Going green is not some freaky religion or some cult where one has to wear pink robes, smoke dope and participate in orgy filled rituals.(If it were I guess more people would be behind it)
 It is not something to fear. Cleaning up or reducing toxic gases or liquids from being dumped into the air, atmosphere or water, can do us no harm. It will actually be of a massive benifit to us. Instead of pumping dark masses of smoke into the atmosphere, we can get the same power from wind or water energy stations.

Some people argue that the so called windmills do not make the landscape look good- indeed, who would not prefer the massive towers spitting out smoke- much better on the beauty of the landscape.
Yes, it will take nothing short of a miracle to get everybody on board. Let's face it, not everybody will participate in this 'let's save Earth game'. We have to pray though that most people are willing to play. From electricity to transport to our daily needs, we need to look at what it is doing to us now and in the long run. Before we flick the switch, we should begin to care where the electricity comes from and the effects of us flicking the switch. (I can see this happening of course- right after people begin to care about water)
Pollution even taints what we eat and the water we drink (unless of course your idea of opening a tap comes from a supermarket in a bottle).

Then there is the argument that this is all made up so the 'greens' can get rich. However, nobody had a problem with the oil and coal people getting rich. And boy did they. Who bitches about us digging holes underground for luxury metals to sell at inflated prices so they owners of the mining houses can coin it. Somebody will be there to exploit everything- it is another human trait. Yes, the nasty greens included.

We must not lose sight of the result though. Turning to so called green alternatives will and can only help the selfish beast that humans have become. We need to take our heads out of the (dirty) sand and realise we will live in denial for too long and then it will be too late to save the only home we have. We need to wake up and see that the world is changing quickly, and we will feel the results of our actions in our life times still. Our children will bare the brunt of our selfish behaviour. Humans have the ability to be their own Extinction Event.
It is time for us to prove our love for the future humans, our children included and see how each of us, can reduce pollution and save the bit of the planet we can.

Another Photo

I have been a bad boy and have not written for a week........bad Mark.....and to compensate, here is a photo....okay, weak gesture I know...but hope you like the pic anyway....

The Geezer Bandit

As it is custom for a Friday, we deal with real life crime stories.....

Today we go to San Diego in the USA. It turns out that five banks in San Diego have been robbed by one clever crook, who is still on the run- he has been labelled the 'Geezer Bandit' because our bank robber appears to be about 70 plus years old.

Law enforcement officials are offering a reward of $16 000,00 for information leading to the arrest of our aging robber.

See, there is a career where you are not kicked out for being a pensioner.

Need For Greed

As everybody in RSA knows, the Football World Cup is almost upon us (250 odd days or so I think). Then we will be bombarded with an expected 5-600 000 soccer tourists. That does not bug me, as I am sure whatever thugs the world can produce, we can produce worse....we know we can. It is the one thing we are really good at and our number one spot in the world for crime remains unchallenged. (The criminals must be licking their grubby little lips at the prospect of getting their dirty hands on some foriegner and his currency....and of course his expensive electronic equipment as he stupidly walks around at night.)

But that is not my gripe- my gripe is over FIFA and their restrictions. Any trader or shop may not sell products that compete with FIFA sponsored products in and around certain zones, on major routes to the stadiums, in FIFA approved hotels, fan parks, beaches (can you understand that one?), park and ride facilities, city squares...and that is not all. Their greedy reach further places restrictions on competitive advertising on any building wraps, billboards or wall covering-even if they are outside of the demarkated zones. But wait, that's not all- the Nazi like ideals further impose these restrictions upon public parks, city halls, churches (I know churches always have major advertizing on their walls), heritiage buildings and my favourite, pavements next to ATM machines. Some businesses in the Zones, like China Mall at Ellis Park will be shut down for the duration of the competition. (I am unclear if they would be compensated). Businesses outside this magic zone, will still be restricted from advertizing products that are not part of FIFA's sponsors. Vodacom will have to switch off their Ponte tower advert as well- and that has been there for years. Fans have to dress in blank T shirts etc for fear of being driven out the stadium with a crowd of guards with pitchforks for displaying a forbidden image.

Of Course FIFA do have an explanation for this. The reason they give- 'it is meant to protect the federation's official trademarks and intellectual property rights against ambush marketing'- roughly translated this means they are like a spoilt child that is too greedy to share!!!!

I do understand the need to clamp down on counterfeit goods and illegal items, but do not see the need to get all communist and ban the sales of goods if they are not your sponsors. That is pure opportunist greed and drunk on the power the host country stupidly gives them.

Of course, the host country is like a well trained dog and will pass by-laws (as most of our towns and cities already have) to help assist FIFA in the need for greed. This will allow them to use the SAPS and Metro cops to help hunt for the evil doers who dare contravene these laws.....and luckily in South Africa there are not much bigger fish to fry than that. I mean I would rather see somebody arrested who advertises Pepsi instead of Coke than a mall robber any day. Bad shop owner.

So basically valuable resources will be wasted to enforce these selfish rules set by a multi-million Dollar earning organisation, to make them richer at the expense of the little shop owner and trader. Seems fair.

I think it is nothing short of disgusting and unfair business practice to allow this type of self serving in a seemingly democratic country. FIFA and Sepp Blatter, are on such an ego trip and the host country obviously buys them the ticket and still does tricks to amuse them. It is supposed to be a free country, with free trade. FIFA are more controlling than Mugabe.

I still think the money spent on the stadiums could have been spent on more important things like healthcare, education, poverty relief......we know there are many more causes and I do not see the World Cup benifiting the average man in the street. Granted the travel and hospitality industry are drooling at the prospect, but I do not think the benifts will be spread far enough. .
Furthermore, based on current infrastructure, how will the staduims look in say 5 years from now.....?

In my humble view, FIFA is a self serving organisation who looks after their shareholders and board before the fans or footie. Football (or Soccer) is a universal game, and it seems only because the royalty at FIFA allow it to be. I am sure they will ban kids from playing soccer in the streets as it may steal a fan away from the stadiums, and thus will result in a revenue loss that will cripple them.

It is time to put the game and the people who support it first. Greed should not be a factor. FIFA earn so much money, yet want to strangle the market further when they ride into Dodge City.
The LOC and other's concerned should grow a pair, and negotiate a deal that will allow more people to benifit and not ony those who are on FIFA's 'good list'.

Clever Criminals

Our Friday crime storys are two good ones.

The first comes from Tampa in the good old USA. Joshua Basso was sitting by himself when he encountered a rather big problem.
His airtime had run out and Joshua really needed sex. So, doing what most horny people do, he called the one number he knew was free-911. Despite them cutting him three times, he felt this need to phone a fourth time. It was then when they dispatched a unit to his home to give him a bit of bondage.
He is now in a dungeon in Hillsborough, where he is being held without bail.
His arrest record is rosey as well- he has convictions for assualt, grand theft auto, drug possession, violation of probation and so his honour roll goes on.

Our second story comes from Salem (same place John Black comes from).
21 year old Calvin Hoover phoned poilice in a state as his pick up truck had been broken into. He reported stolen a Carhartt Jacket, $400 in cash and about an ounce of marijuana. 
Police immediately began searching for him.

After about an hour, he phoned the police again, complaining because they were not doing enough to recover his electric spinach. They evetually found him in his truck, also looking for the weed and arrested him of suspicion of driving under the influence of intoxicants. He was taken to the Marion County jail.

His luck was improving because tests showed he was clean and the police warned him that if he had been caught with the wacky weed, he would have been arrested. Upon his release, they did warn him that reporting having drugs stolen from you, may not be the brightest thing to do.

The rugby player, the hooker and the athlete

I was not going to write about this topic, as I think it has been beaten to death. But, then I felt I had to beat it further as it gets on my nerves.

To those of you who live on Mars, let me add a bit of backround. We have two 'celebs' in South Africa, who love the media attention. They actually thrive on it. You magazine has them on the cover every second or third issue-they invited them to share their wedding, the honeymoon, the birth of their kids....you get the picture. They have been called the Beckham's of South Africa- They are (drum roll...trumpets ..)-Joost Van Der Westhuizen and Amor Vittone. Their likeness to the Beckams does not stop at their continuous need for public attention, like David, Joost was a successful sportsman, and like Victoria, Amor tries to sing. (Both have sold many albums though.....another day I will comment..)

A couple of months ago a video tape was released that showed Joost and a woman (stripper or hooker) snorting the good stuff and getting really friendly. It sent shock waves across the country..how could this happen to this perfect couple.
Of course Joost denied it and hired a mafia type PI to investigate...a lie detector test was even performed by the Victim (his outlook). The hand picked PI announced that Joost had passed the lie detector test and he was not lying...turns out the lie detector test said he was lying like pinochio on a good day and it was Pretoria PI and Joost who were lying-about everything. Funny when a Celeb screws up, they always portray themselves as such a victim.

After a while it blew over, as most big story's do.......until......and this came as a shock to ALL of us......
A book was released. Now who saw that coming.....

The publicity was awesome. Then it dawned on me what a clever bit of pre- marketing the video was. It created massive free advertising, he could NEVER have bought that. Since the announced book release, he has been interviewed on every radio station, in every newspaper- and once again, in his favourite publication, You magazine. Free advertising. Amor has also done her share of tearful adverts as well.  (watch out for a future book deal here I am sure.)

As a result, the book was sold out on it's first weekend of release. Joost maintains that he is not really benifiting from the book sales (ja, right) and that he did it to clear the air, to set the record straight so to speak (pretty noble). Of course, many will buy into this, as they have bought into the brilliant advesrtising campaign that has cost Joost little more than his dignity, and book wil be a success. Small price to pay I guess.

At the time of the Video release, a then unamed athlete claimed she has also taken a ride on the Joost express and now she has proudly given her name- Charmaine Gail Weavers. (Another book?)
In the You interview Joost stated that he will not comment on claims by other woman that they have had an affair with the player (see the double meaning here)..where there is smoke hey!

The book, 'Joost: The man in the mirror' is sold at all good bookstores. Seriously though, this is a lesson for people. If you live in the public eye, and you sell your soul to be famous, you can also learn to use it effectively to sell many, many books as people stamped to read your dirty little not so secrets...and save millions of Rands on advertising. Watch this space in the future and I will probably announce the second in  the series of the Joost novels or the film version perhaps.

Out thought

Friday again....this is more of a scam than anything else, and one that has the Aussie police in a spin as they do not know how to charge them as they are essesntially doing nothing wrong.

This company places adverts in the local newspapers, advertising imported hard -core pornography. It invites people to send cheques and money to them to purchase these items. Due to the price being so good, they get a terrific response.

Then, a couple of weeks later, the people recieve a letter, advising that because this type of material is illegal in Aussie land, they are unable to send it to them. But they are kind enough to issue a cheque to refund them.
Herein lies the problem- due to the name of the company, very few people actaully cash or c\bank the cheques...the company's name, which it reflects so proudly on the cheques is -'The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company'.....only in Australia...

SABC drain

The SABC has been in the news for a while now, especially with their esteemed board of dirctor's and the public war they have been waging amongst themselves. The CEO who is kicked out, then brought back, then kicked out...and of course, they company is run worse than a bankrupt spaza shop, running at a major loss.

The latest come from the news that they pushing through a bill to scrap TV licencses- Yipee...then the flipside- they are to increase income tax by 1% to cover this and to fund the SABC...not so yipee...

As it is the programming is a fine mess. We see brand new programmes or new series broadcast after ten at night. Pretty much the time most people are running round dreamland. Then they pepper us with repeats of programmes they broadcast before during peak viewing times. I mean some of the Afrikaans programmes being repeated are 20 years old or so. Then then on a Saturday night, in prime time viewing, instead of the new Navy NCIS or a good movie, we get a repeat of that captivating competition- Strictly Come Dancing. And the winner stays the same , amazing, even if it is repeated. When there is a major sports event or series, regular programming is flushed down the toilet to cater for this, despite millions hating sport. A Sports channel would solve this.

To their credit, there are still some sitcoms, like Two and a half me, that see the early slot. And of course Survivior and the Amazing Race- they are very popular and placed in an early slot. But what about NCIS, Law and Order, Without a trace and many more? Surely there are more than enough prime time spots for them?
The excuse or lousy reason given is that these items were purchased on the condition that they are not broadcast during prime time. Sure thing. Why would you purchase programmes under such a condition? Furthermore, it is a fact that dozens of programmes purchased, were not broadcast within the time they should have been, and thus, are unable to be broadcast now. Millions wasted.What a bunch of brilliant people these are.
It was reported that many programmes are purchased through another company, who purchases them cheaply and sells them to the SABC at an inflated price. Obviously there are links to the board and this company.
Due to space constraints, I am not going into an massive study of the SABC here though. It would take pages....

There are some of us who are only lucky to only get the four stations (SABC1-3 and E-TV). We have no say over the running or missuse of the public broadcaster.Some of us pay the license fee, many more don't. With the 1% tax, they will have much more income as tax payers will pay, whether they like it or not and the poor will not have to pay as millions don't pay tax.

Now, the the SABC income will be incredible, but do we really buy into the promise of better programming...hell no. We know the money will find pockets and holes to hide in and the government will still need further tax payers money to bail them out.....we just have to look at other state run enterprises to have proof of that- SA Airways, Eskom....all badly run...despite billions of Rands in funding, they run an a gigantic loss. How will the SABC differ with a new massive cash injection?

Privatise them, let them get a real board of directors and I am sure we will see a turn around. Make them asnwer for misuse and pay the price when they do.
Until then, the taxpayer will throw their hard earned money into the government's shredder and see no benifit from it at all.

Permanent Crime

Well, it is Friday again, and time for our light hearted crime story.

Once again we take one from the Yanks, this time from Carroll, Iowa.

Two robbery suspects decided to rob an apartment, as many people do when they have nothing to do and too much to drink. Once they had broken in, a witness spotted them, and called the fuzz.
The police arrived after the suspects had fled, but were advised that they had escaped in a white car and had masks on.

Minutes later the two, Joey Lee Miller (20) and Mathew Allan McNelly (23) were pulled over. After a search of the car, their mask applicators were found- 2 black permanent markers. Indeed, these two prized idiots, had scribbled masks on their faces to hide their identities.

Above is a picture of the two criminal masterminds.


Below is alleged video footage of a robber sporting a Scream mask to rob a store in Yankland again.
The photo is not verified and there was no story with the pic, but nonetheless, it is a classic.

Rhema ATM

This is a story that really amused me and was reported in the Sunday Times last Sunday.

We all know the Rhema church and the influence it has had on South African religion. A bit like Lord of the Rings, there are those who love it, and those who don't.

I, for one, am old fashioned and don't believe you should feel obligated to pay membership fees to belong to a church. Oh, okay, they call them tithes, but a rose by any other name. Rhema collects some R70 million per annum on these fees, er, I mean,  tithes.
The head of the cult, or some would call it, a church, Pastor Ray McCauley, came from humble begginings before being called on one day, by God to, build a get rich quick scheme. And it worked.

Rhema has fast become a massive force and Ray McCauley has become a celebrity in his own right. Over and above this, when a public figure is in trouble and there is lots of press coverage, you are bound to see old Ray there.
It is plain that he loves the limelight and rubbing shoulders with the 'big wigs'. His latest conquest appears to be President Jacob Zuma. (Ray invited Zuma to talk shop at one of the services. When other political parties complained, Ray, in good Christian fashion said anybody may stand up and talk. Funny though, that requests by other parties were turned down). Since then, they have been seen together on numerous occasions and now Ray is convener of the Interfaith Committee that will fix South African morals......riiight.

Currently, they reside in a beachfront shack worth some R6,5 million on the KZN coast. They preach weekly in Randburg-so like all poor people, they fly up every week and back down again. In their defence though, they are talking of selling up and moving to Randburg, which is one of the poorer suburbs in South Africa. Got to feel for the sacrifice they are going to make.

It is also common knowledge that Pastor Ray and his playboy mansion looking wife, have a taste for the finer things in life. They were married in a lavish,star studded event, paid for by the church and other contributors (according to You magazine, who had exclusive rights to cover it)
Zelda (his wife of course) wears Victoria secret undies, smarting Ferdi bags and so on. Her reason for wearing Victoria Secret- 'a woman has got to feel good about how she looks'. In a 2004 interview, Zelda proudly stated that she set aside Wednesdays for 'personal pampering'- including botox treatments and good old massages-saying 'My appearance is important to me'(Is Vanity not one of the deadly sins?) Then blaming God for her vanity- 'I believe God expects a wife to look good for her husband'...bet it says so in the Bible hey!!
Is is widely held that Ray earns about R100 000 a month from Rhema. (Is Greed not another of those sins?)
It has been  reported that Ray would not bat an eyelid when spending R365 on a bottle of Meerlust Merlot, running up food bills of R25 000 in just over a month. (Gluttony, another).

You get the picture I am sure.  For Ray's (surprise, so they say) birthday party, held at the Sandton Convention Centre, obviously due to it's budget tailored prices, his son sent invitaions out, as one always does. Together with the invitation, his ever so thoughtful son, attached a desperate plea that he needed help to get his father out of debt. (I will give you time to read that a few more times)
Apparently his son, Joshua, would like him to go into his sixties, debt free. "Huh?" was my first thought.


 It is rumoured that both Ray and Zelda love to shop-having both mentioned it in interviews. Now for somebody to earn a salary of that magnitude and to build up so much debt,  is just pure excess. The sad thing is, many in the 40-45 000 strong Rhema congregation, will, upon hearing this, jump onto this idea wagon and offer their help. Freely giving from their own pockets to help fund the repayment of this debt. (One born every minute)
In my view, Rhema should be contributing most of their profits to charity, operating like a non profitable organisation. I cannot and will not accept that religion should be a money making business. I also do not understand why the head of the church has to earn so much money. I do not agree that he has to mingle in politics or hob nob with celebrities or even be treated like one.
But most of all, I do not agree that he has to get other people, no matter who they may be, to help him escape a debt trap that he has dug himself from a spade of pure greed and excess.

He should take responsibility and stop spending so willy nilly, cut back on the bunny's beauty treatment, spend less on entertainment.....and who knows, he may actually be able to use his over inflated salary to repay the debt that he has made. The church, nor friends should not be seen as a personal ATM.

Take responsibility and set the example.

The boys from Brazil

Reports over the weekend show us just why South Africa is the land of opportunity -well for some anyway.

Our football team, fondly called Bafana Bafana goes through coaches like the seasons. Each seems to get progressively worse at making a success out of the national side.
How SAFA chooses these coaches is beyond me, and I guess beyond anybody who knows that a football is round.

We were awarded next year's (I dare not mention 2010 for fear of Fifa Sueing me) Globe we live on (World) Chalice (Cup)...we all know what I mean, but we also all know that Fifa has an iron fist on anything regarding the aforesaid event. For heaven's sakes, they have so many rules and regulations about dress codes etc, I am surprised there will be any spectators to fill our billion Rand stadiums, which I still think we could ill afford to build. (this being another article perhaps).

But back to the coach.
Due to SA being the host nation (and probably ONLY because we are the host nation), our soccer side qualifies for the world cup next year. SAFA thought the best coach would be a certain Carlos Alberto Parreira. Mr P ,from Brazil, came with a price tag of some R1,8 million a month. He served from February 2007 until his resignation in March 2008.
Mr P did not set the SA soccer world on fire though. He failed to win a game at the African Nations Cup in 2008 and only managed to get his charges to beat Chad in a competitve game. Yes, one competitive win. Amazing. Mr P's gigantic salary was overshadowed by his urgent need to return home for family matters. His wife had cancer, so let's give him the benifit of the doubt here.

Under circumstance that are still as murky as the Vaal river, Joel Santana, a Brazilian friend of Mr P, was elected as the new SA coach. If we thought Joel's ability to speak English was bad, then we soon came to realise that his coaching ability was way worse. (Yet he was getting about R1,5 million a month)
Under his  (we don't have to win friendly matches-or any others it seems) reign, Bafana Bafana slipped down to 85th in the world ranking and had the proud honour of being beaten by a team in the mid nineties.
After lots of pressure, he resigned (told to P-off by SAFA in other words) for an undisclosed amount of money- probably the balance of his contract and bonuses for wins he may have achieved.....but nobody is telling- yet!

Then came the great suspense...who will be out next coach?
In SA, there are more leaks that in a termite infested wooden boat. It was rumoured, even before Joel's sad departure, that Mr P would return. This was denied by SAFA (which surprised nobody).

Local experts and fans wanted a local coach. SAFA, in their great wisdom, went for the denied rumour, and announced that the new coach would be..drum roll....Carlos Alberto Perreira..and nobody saw this coming.

In true SAFA style, they also stated on record that Mr P would be earning less this time around. It is reported that The Star contacted Mr P at his home in Brazil, who in between laughs I am sure, confirmed he would be earning the same R1,8 million a month that he earned (used loosley here of course) last time around. Who would not want the job at that salary- taking into consideration how lenient your employer is regarding your lack of achievement.

SAFA President, Kirsten Nematandani also seems keen to bring Mr P's family over to our sunny shores as well. All at SAFA's expense of course. And I sure if he has to leave again for any family emergency, he has the name of another outstanding coach to take over from him.

SAFA's reason for re-appointing Carlos- continuity! When a team is doing well and making us proud, indeed, continuity would be a good reason to get him back. But with the track record of the two Brazilians, surely we do not want this to continue. Would we not want a coach who would help us to improve?
There are a couple of South African coaches that probably could have improved our performance, building up to our first round exit next year. Gavin Hunt, Jomo Sono...to name two. South Africans know how to deal with South Africans and I am sure it is a daunting task training Bafana. South African coaches have got he know how to do this. Foriegn coaches do not.

Having said this, SAFA doen not listen to expert or public opinion and we are stuck with Mr P till the World Cup's conclusion. In his defence though, unlike Joel, he can talk 'the eeeengleesh.'

Free to swing

As it is Friday, we do not want to read heavy issue, so we have a look at an amusing news item from the past week which comes from Springfield, Virginia. (Yes the place does exist and no, the Simpson's don't really live there).

The story features an unlucky 29 year old driver, named Eric Williamson.
One fine morning (it was for him then anyway), Eric woke at around 5:30. As millions of people do that time of the morning, Eric needed a shot of caffeine to get his head clear for the day.

As his housemates were not there and a person who obviously who loves to swing free, Eric decided to go and make the coffee in the clothes that God gave him at birth. No problem there.

By some cruel trick of fate, at the same time naked Eric was making his coffee, an unidentified woman and a seven year old boy came strolling past. As one does I guess, when passing people's houses, Ms X (as we will call the peeping tom) noticed that there was a naked man, in his own kitchen, making coffee.

Obviously Ms X was traumatised by this and prompty phoned the police, as one does when you peek into somebody else's window and see them naked. (I am sure she kept an eye on the perp as well till the cops arrived, just in case he made a break for it)

The Yanks, being the Yanks, arrested Eric and charged him with indecent exposure, which carries a maximum penalty of $2 000,00 or a year behind bars.
The lesson- you cannot be naked in your own place of residence, just in case somebody breaks the law and takes a peek through an open curtain.When this happens, somehow, you become the criminal and the dirty peeping tom becomes the poor victim. Makes no sense to me. 

Ms X, was of course not charged for actually invading the guy's privacy, which in essence she did. Great lesson for the seven year old though. He now knows nudity is wrong, but it is peachy to go round peeping into people's windows.

Oh there's no Golly

The 'past' seems to have been responsible for the creation of many ideas. In fact many films, books, songs and even photos, are partly or exact, rip offs from the past? This brings me to the topic of today- The return of our little friend with the blue hat- Noddy!

Enid Blyton created the Noddy stories in 1949. For those who do not know-Noddy is a little wooden toy (Pinnochio without the long nose I guess), who runs away from home and is discoved all naked by the old Brownie Big Ears. (Now as relationships go, this one was rather dodgy in terms of what Big Ears wanted I am sure)

Anyway Noddy moved to Toyland where his adventures begin. (Strangely at his age he could even drive, and owned a car-great message for kids).

The storys were published until around 1963 and were hugely popular for decades thereafter. .

Now, after 45 Noddyless years, Enid's grandaughter has decided to revive the Noddy character.

Sophie Smallwood, who claims to be an author (yet I guess, not a successful one, as she is using granny's ideas for fame and fortune and not her own) is set to reintroduce Noddy to our modern times. She is retaining most of the characters, to stay 'true to the stories' (even bringing backing back that paedophilic character, Big Ears).

But, being terribly politicly correct, she has banished the Golliwogs from the 'new' stories due to their racial reference. This was also done in later reprints of old Noddy books as well, replacing them with other characters (below).Yet she has retained the underage driving concept.

Gollywogs were created in 1895 by Florence Upton, based on her dolls- Black Faced Minstrel Dolls. She had a whole string of picture books published about these characters. They were later made into dolls and were very popular toys for male children.(I kid you not)

However, it seems in the 1950's, race crept in (surprise, it always seems to), and Gollywog became a derogatory term for black people. Although, I am sure Enid wrote them in as toys for Noddy, which they were at the time, and with Nod's living in Toyland, well......he was surrounded by, this may have been missed by many- toys. (Enid spelled her character- Golliwog)

Two points about this- firstly, if she was going to go the politically correct route, surely she should have looked at Big Ears and their close friendship (I mean look at child abuse issues today) and of course the appearance she supports underage driving.(Proof above) The Golliwog is what it is- a toy. Why look at it as some racial slur? It is a toy character, residing in Toyland, where I guess toys live.

And second point- why do people with seemingly limited talent, piggy back their attempts of success on other's success.

To rain, or not to rain

Once again, we have been promised rain by the weather people...and as we all know, it is more of a toss of a coin than any real prediction.They do admit that they cannot guarantee their predictions, yet we still listen with anticipation when the Weather comes on.....I do I have to admit....sucker I guess.

Now this is stranger....I have monitored different sources, E TV, SABC, Weather 24 and SA Weather. I would presume they obtain their weather predictions from the same sources. However, sometimes they do differ. For example last week. SABC told us that there was a 30% chance of showers....Weather 24 told us 100% for the same day.........and the reality....no rain at all. Granted it was cloudy, and rain did look promising but nothing.

Now, I look forward to my storms, and feel a tingle of excitement when thunder storms are predicted. So, you can just imagine my sulky little face when they do not pan out.

Can't wait to listen to the weather just now to see if it will rain today.

Prison Break South Africa- A fairytale

I think it would be appropriate to begin this article- Once upon a time. You see, this is a story about miracles and would it not be real, would be, too fantastic to be a fairy tale.

Well, once a time there was a chap, let's call him Schabir Shaik. Now, Schabir was your usual dishonest guy, who, like many, accumulated millions from dodgy deals and dishonest relationships. He lived the good life, with his equally honest brothers. The Shaik's had contacts in high places and many friend in political circles.

Now like any good tale, this one has twists and turns.

It so happened the sheriff, going by the name of the Scorpions and the National Prosecuting Authority caught up to Schabir's wrong doings and in an unfortunate turn of events, our poor Schabir was sentenced to 15 years in the dungeon for fraud and corruption. (One name was mentioned in conjunction with his during the judgment- that of another colourful fantasy character- Jacob Zuma. This however, is another long, but amusing story on it's own. )

Behind bars for a short while, our hero suddenly developed chronic hypertention, causing him to be confined (used very loosley here) to his prison hospital ward. Due to his terrible affliction, he was allowed to have visitors and ate good food (and wine it has been reported)-unlike the other prison inmates, who had to sit and rot and eat slop.

Yes, Mr Shaik played the system like Slash plays a guitar. Brilliantly.

But after spending 28 months as a guest under the correctional services, (one cannot say 'jail', as that would imply he was actually in jail) he submitted an application for medical parole. Of course, despite everybody protesting, screaming and objecting, our hero was granted medical parole as he was so gravely ill, each breath could have been his last..

(Section 79 of the correctional svc act of 1998 tell us medical parole should only be granted to people in the 'final stages of a terminal illness'-it seems HIV/Aids does not count as very few people are granted this rare gift)

Shame, Mr Shaik was allowed to go home and enjoy his last couple of days or weeks with his shady family. This was the least the system could do to somebody who gave so much of himself (and his wealth) to politics.
(Prior to his release, he even got a hefty payment, being the interest from the fortune that had been confiscated from him due to it being gained under questionable means-it just got better for our hero)

Now in the modern times, we often overlook divine deeds and miracles- but it happened. Schabir, whom we all know was 'knock knock knocking on heaven's (or probably hell's) door' made a miracle recovery.
He was reported to have been seen at his wife's birthday party in an expensive restaurant, seen driving round in his luxury (nothing is too good for our hero) car, and even reported to have been seen playing a round of golf. (Sightings almost reached that of Elvis and Nessie proportions).
He was alive and seemingly pretty well. Now, either this was a modern day miracle, or somebody has really tried to fool us...

The breaking news now is that our Schabir Shaik apparently applied for a Presidential Pardon in May 2008, when Mbeki was President. The application was lost in the system (of course) and now, that we have a new president, has found it's way to the presidency. Great timing I say.

The presidency in turn have stated that (this is really good) they will handle the application 'like any other pardon'. Seriously- they expect us to swallow this. Mr Shaik's luck, like his improvement in health, is on the up. The very person that was implicated with him in fraud and corruption, Mr Zuma, is now the President. (Mr Z is also a wonderful player of the system-probably better than Shaik, as he appointed the right people to the right positions to get his charges dropped- once again-brillaint)

Now it is up to Jacob Zuma to grant or not grant the pardon.

I think it would be safe to say that our hero, Schabir, will be granted the pardon (to all of our surprise), and he and his brothers and his friends, will live happlily ever, after making more and more money from great business deals.

The Bomb and the President

During the term of old George W, the US was working on a massive bomb called 'Massive Ordnance Penetrator' or MOP. Let's put it into perspective- the weight of the precision guided bomb is a gigantic 15 tons- of which 2,400kgs are explosives. It is designed to destroy hidden bunkers and weapons centres under 5 tons of reinfored concrete. Perfect for destroying tunnels, caves and underground weapon storage or control facilities. The most largest and most destructive non- nuclear weapon on earth.

Under instruction from Mr Nobel Peace Prize winner, The Pentagon has awarded a contract for a hefty $52 million (R 384 million roughly) to speed up the completion of this bomb and have it ready to be delivered by a B-2 Stealth Bomber-they are hoping for the middle of next year.
Of course The Pentagon and Washington say that they don't have any states in mind as targets, but in the same breathe mention Iran and North Korea as examples of situations where they could use it.

Mr Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, not for what he has done, but for his willingness to do good and his potential to do so....makes sense?...not to me. (May as well award Prizes for science to people who have great theories-who needs proof that they are correct hey?)

Many people have the potential to do good- but history shows us that intentions and potential are not always realised. Truth be told, Obama has extended a hand of friendship, but it has not been unconditional. He has kept the threat of military action very much alive and the bomb project proves this. Furthermore, he is sending more troops into Afghanistan. Is this a peaceful move? (Oh it's to fight terrorism)
Has he really changed the world yet? His moves of reconciliation towards Russia and China (the country with the best human rights record on earth) are largely motiviated by his need for them to vote with the other members on the UN Security Council in the Iran and North Korea nuclear stand-offs.
 He has not really even changed America. Don't get me wrong, I think he has the qualities to be a good president, but he is a new president and has not been in the role for long enough to judge whether he will live up to expectations or not.

I, for one, think political figures should be judged AFTER their term in office, or at least past half way into their first term. Look at old GW. At the beggining of his term, he was so popular- striking back against terrorism so quickly. What a guy. Things turned around for the worst in that case.
Obama may just be the same. He is new, his thinking is fresh and he is trying to be friends with everybody-shaking hands with one hand (but in the other, he still holds the stick to beat them in need). Or he may just be the person we need to set the world right. The appropriate word is 'may'......

In my most humble view, The Nobel Peace, or any Nobel prize, should be awarded to somebody who has deserved it by deeds done and not deeds he intends to do.

Air Cover

The Citizen newspaper of the 14th October 2009 had a long article about our lack of air defence capabilities. The usual 'numerous sources' was used, as well as some so called expert from Jane's Defence Weekly, who made comments, that upon investigation, turned out to be utter rubbish. He contends that no missiles have been developed for the new SAAB JAS39 Gripen fighters, which South Africa have purchased. According to numerous websites, this is not the case, with an array of missiles, including air to air and water skimming anti-ship missiles, are readily available. Think the point is, no missiles have been purchased by our Air Force yet. (above is a picture of a Gripen with the missiles that have yet to be designed)

Since the purchase of these aircraft began, it has been clouded in controversy. Firstly a report was submitted to parlaiment, by none other than Shamin 'Chippy' Shaik (brother of the other esteemed Shaik, who is now seconds away from meeting the Grim-Reaper we hear- Shabir) while he acted (there is an accurate word) as Defence Aquistions Chief. He cleverly persuaded the power that sign the cheques, that our current flock of Cheetah aircraft was obsolete.
In 1999, a R60 Billion deal was approved to purchase new planes and weaponry.
Turns out the Cheetah Fighter (Picture below this paragraph)was, and still is not yet obsolete- Ecuador is purchasing  a minimum of 12 and Chile want 9 more. With maintenance plans from Denel, till 2015. Obsolete my.......well, I have my doubts.

Further research revealed that a number of countries are investigating Gripen deals, namely Britain, the Czech Republic, Switzerland, Australia, Sweden and the USA. The allegations that governement official have been bribed in many deals relating to the purchase of Gripens. The Czech republic are far into an investigation about the purchase of Gripens and high levelled government officials have been named.
The name Shaik pops up with regard to our military deal.....and a number of others who will not be touched, involved or not.

The point of this article is not to investigate the shadey dealings of the people in high places though. It is to gasp at the frightening reality that currently, we have no air to air capability to speak of.
Instead of using funds to maintain the Cheetah C (Which in Air Combat Maneuvering Excercises, compared favourably to the F15), a plane which is obviously in operational standard, 'the powers' decide to mothball them and buy a new fleet of shiney new Gripens.
Of course nobody sat down to realise that, when you retire your fleet of old planes, the new fleet should be battle ready before you send the old ones to fighter heaven.

In a move that makes NO sense, we have however, purchased missiles for the Hawk trainer. (Pictured below paragraph) A plane with a relatively low top speed, and with no hope of out manauvering or intercepting any other fighter aircraft. In need, this is all we have!
The crest of the air force wave, the Gripen, has no missiles and it seems there is no plan in the near future, to purchase missiles either.

There are about two Cheetahs, that are used for airshows, that could be used in need. But, in another brilliant defence move, SAAF have retired the Boeing refuelling tankers- so, we have aircraft that have a very short range.
Then it comes to the lack of trained pilots, which is a well known problem. Coupled with poor maintenance, the Air Force paintbrush does not paint a rosey picture. I have spoken to many retired SAAF personell and they describe a grim scenario.

We are lucky at the moment that we have no immenent threat to our skies. But we have been warned by experts of terrorist activity during the 2010 (hope I can use those numbers without being sued by FIFA). Should some bright spark, who modelled his terrorist career on the Twin Towers pilots, decide to use a packed stadium as a landing strip- we are pretty screwed.