Permanent Crime

Well, it is Friday again, and time for our light hearted crime story.

Once again we take one from the Yanks, this time from Carroll, Iowa.

Two robbery suspects decided to rob an apartment, as many people do when they have nothing to do and too much to drink. Once they had broken in, a witness spotted them, and called the fuzz.
The police arrived after the suspects had fled, but were advised that they had escaped in a white car and had masks on.

Minutes later the two, Joey Lee Miller (20) and Mathew Allan McNelly (23) were pulled over. After a search of the car, their mask applicators were found- 2 black permanent markers. Indeed, these two prized idiots, had scribbled masks on their faces to hide their identities.

Above is a picture of the two criminal masterminds.


Below is alleged video footage of a robber sporting a Scream mask to rob a store in Yankland again.
The photo is not verified and there was no story with the pic, but nonetheless, it is a classic.

Rhema ATM

This is a story that really amused me and was reported in the Sunday Times last Sunday.

We all know the Rhema church and the influence it has had on South African religion. A bit like Lord of the Rings, there are those who love it, and those who don't.

I, for one, am old fashioned and don't believe you should feel obligated to pay membership fees to belong to a church. Oh, okay, they call them tithes, but a rose by any other name. Rhema collects some R70 million per annum on these fees, er, I mean,  tithes.
The head of the cult, or some would call it, a church, Pastor Ray McCauley, came from humble begginings before being called on one day, by God to, build a get rich quick scheme. And it worked.

Rhema has fast become a massive force and Ray McCauley has become a celebrity in his own right. Over and above this, when a public figure is in trouble and there is lots of press coverage, you are bound to see old Ray there.
It is plain that he loves the limelight and rubbing shoulders with the 'big wigs'. His latest conquest appears to be President Jacob Zuma. (Ray invited Zuma to talk shop at one of the services. When other political parties complained, Ray, in good Christian fashion said anybody may stand up and talk. Funny though, that requests by other parties were turned down). Since then, they have been seen together on numerous occasions and now Ray is convener of the Interfaith Committee that will fix South African morals......riiight.

Currently, they reside in a beachfront shack worth some R6,5 million on the KZN coast. They preach weekly in Randburg-so like all poor people, they fly up every week and back down again. In their defence though, they are talking of selling up and moving to Randburg, which is one of the poorer suburbs in South Africa. Got to feel for the sacrifice they are going to make.

It is also common knowledge that Pastor Ray and his playboy mansion looking wife, have a taste for the finer things in life. They were married in a lavish,star studded event, paid for by the church and other contributors (according to You magazine, who had exclusive rights to cover it)
Zelda (his wife of course) wears Victoria secret undies, smarting Ferdi bags and so on. Her reason for wearing Victoria Secret- 'a woman has got to feel good about how she looks'. In a 2004 interview, Zelda proudly stated that she set aside Wednesdays for 'personal pampering'- including botox treatments and good old massages-saying 'My appearance is important to me'(Is Vanity not one of the deadly sins?) Then blaming God for her vanity- 'I believe God expects a wife to look good for her husband'...bet it says so in the Bible hey!!
Is is widely held that Ray earns about R100 000 a month from Rhema. (Is Greed not another of those sins?)
It has been  reported that Ray would not bat an eyelid when spending R365 on a bottle of Meerlust Merlot, running up food bills of R25 000 in just over a month. (Gluttony, another).

You get the picture I am sure.  For Ray's (surprise, so they say) birthday party, held at the Sandton Convention Centre, obviously due to it's budget tailored prices, his son sent invitaions out, as one always does. Together with the invitation, his ever so thoughtful son, attached a desperate plea that he needed help to get his father out of debt. (I will give you time to read that a few more times)
Apparently his son, Joshua, would like him to go into his sixties, debt free. "Huh?" was my first thought.


 It is rumoured that both Ray and Zelda love to shop-having both mentioned it in interviews. Now for somebody to earn a salary of that magnitude and to build up so much debt,  is just pure excess. The sad thing is, many in the 40-45 000 strong Rhema congregation, will, upon hearing this, jump onto this idea wagon and offer their help. Freely giving from their own pockets to help fund the repayment of this debt. (One born every minute)
In my view, Rhema should be contributing most of their profits to charity, operating like a non profitable organisation. I cannot and will not accept that religion should be a money making business. I also do not understand why the head of the church has to earn so much money. I do not agree that he has to mingle in politics or hob nob with celebrities or even be treated like one.
But most of all, I do not agree that he has to get other people, no matter who they may be, to help him escape a debt trap that he has dug himself from a spade of pure greed and excess.

He should take responsibility and stop spending so willy nilly, cut back on the bunny's beauty treatment, spend less on entertainment.....and who knows, he may actually be able to use his over inflated salary to repay the debt that he has made. The church, nor friends should not be seen as a personal ATM.

Take responsibility and set the example.

The boys from Brazil

Reports over the weekend show us just why South Africa is the land of opportunity -well for some anyway.

Our football team, fondly called Bafana Bafana goes through coaches like the seasons. Each seems to get progressively worse at making a success out of the national side.
How SAFA chooses these coaches is beyond me, and I guess beyond anybody who knows that a football is round.

We were awarded next year's (I dare not mention 2010 for fear of Fifa Sueing me) Globe we live on (World) Chalice (Cup)...we all know what I mean, but we also all know that Fifa has an iron fist on anything regarding the aforesaid event. For heaven's sakes, they have so many rules and regulations about dress codes etc, I am surprised there will be any spectators to fill our billion Rand stadiums, which I still think we could ill afford to build. (this being another article perhaps).

But back to the coach.
Due to SA being the host nation (and probably ONLY because we are the host nation), our soccer side qualifies for the world cup next year. SAFA thought the best coach would be a certain Carlos Alberto Parreira. Mr P ,from Brazil, came with a price tag of some R1,8 million a month. He served from February 2007 until his resignation in March 2008.
Mr P did not set the SA soccer world on fire though. He failed to win a game at the African Nations Cup in 2008 and only managed to get his charges to beat Chad in a competitve game. Yes, one competitive win. Amazing. Mr P's gigantic salary was overshadowed by his urgent need to return home for family matters. His wife had cancer, so let's give him the benifit of the doubt here.

Under circumstance that are still as murky as the Vaal river, Joel Santana, a Brazilian friend of Mr P, was elected as the new SA coach. If we thought Joel's ability to speak English was bad, then we soon came to realise that his coaching ability was way worse. (Yet he was getting about R1,5 million a month)
Under his  (we don't have to win friendly matches-or any others it seems) reign, Bafana Bafana slipped down to 85th in the world ranking and had the proud honour of being beaten by a team in the mid nineties.
After lots of pressure, he resigned (told to P-off by SAFA in other words) for an undisclosed amount of money- probably the balance of his contract and bonuses for wins he may have achieved.....but nobody is telling- yet!

Then came the great suspense...who will be out next coach?
In SA, there are more leaks that in a termite infested wooden boat. It was rumoured, even before Joel's sad departure, that Mr P would return. This was denied by SAFA (which surprised nobody).

Local experts and fans wanted a local coach. SAFA, in their great wisdom, went for the denied rumour, and announced that the new coach would be..drum roll....Carlos Alberto Perreira..and nobody saw this coming.

In true SAFA style, they also stated on record that Mr P would be earning less this time around. It is reported that The Star contacted Mr P at his home in Brazil, who in between laughs I am sure, confirmed he would be earning the same R1,8 million a month that he earned (used loosley here of course) last time around. Who would not want the job at that salary- taking into consideration how lenient your employer is regarding your lack of achievement.

SAFA President, Kirsten Nematandani also seems keen to bring Mr P's family over to our sunny shores as well. All at SAFA's expense of course. And I sure if he has to leave again for any family emergency, he has the name of another outstanding coach to take over from him.

SAFA's reason for re-appointing Carlos- continuity! When a team is doing well and making us proud, indeed, continuity would be a good reason to get him back. But with the track record of the two Brazilians, surely we do not want this to continue. Would we not want a coach who would help us to improve?
There are a couple of South African coaches that probably could have improved our performance, building up to our first round exit next year. Gavin Hunt, Jomo Sono...to name two. South Africans know how to deal with South Africans and I am sure it is a daunting task training Bafana. South African coaches have got he know how to do this. Foriegn coaches do not.

Having said this, SAFA doen not listen to expert or public opinion and we are stuck with Mr P till the World Cup's conclusion. In his defence though, unlike Joel, he can talk 'the eeeengleesh.'

Free to swing

As it is Friday, we do not want to read heavy issue, so we have a look at an amusing news item from the past week which comes from Springfield, Virginia. (Yes the place does exist and no, the Simpson's don't really live there).

The story features an unlucky 29 year old driver, named Eric Williamson.
One fine morning (it was for him then anyway), Eric woke at around 5:30. As millions of people do that time of the morning, Eric needed a shot of caffeine to get his head clear for the day.

As his housemates were not there and a person who obviously who loves to swing free, Eric decided to go and make the coffee in the clothes that God gave him at birth. No problem there.

By some cruel trick of fate, at the same time naked Eric was making his coffee, an unidentified woman and a seven year old boy came strolling past. As one does I guess, when passing people's houses, Ms X (as we will call the peeping tom) noticed that there was a naked man, in his own kitchen, making coffee.

Obviously Ms X was traumatised by this and prompty phoned the police, as one does when you peek into somebody else's window and see them naked. (I am sure she kept an eye on the perp as well till the cops arrived, just in case he made a break for it)

The Yanks, being the Yanks, arrested Eric and charged him with indecent exposure, which carries a maximum penalty of $2 000,00 or a year behind bars.
The lesson- you cannot be naked in your own place of residence, just in case somebody breaks the law and takes a peek through an open curtain.When this happens, somehow, you become the criminal and the dirty peeping tom becomes the poor victim. Makes no sense to me. 

Ms X, was of course not charged for actually invading the guy's privacy, which in essence she did. Great lesson for the seven year old though. He now knows nudity is wrong, but it is peachy to go round peeping into people's windows.

Oh there's no Golly

The 'past' seems to have been responsible for the creation of many ideas. In fact many films, books, songs and even photos, are partly or exact, rip offs from the past? This brings me to the topic of today- The return of our little friend with the blue hat- Noddy!

Enid Blyton created the Noddy stories in 1949. For those who do not know-Noddy is a little wooden toy (Pinnochio without the long nose I guess), who runs away from home and is discoved all naked by the old Brownie Big Ears. (Now as relationships go, this one was rather dodgy in terms of what Big Ears wanted I am sure)

Anyway Noddy moved to Toyland where his adventures begin. (Strangely at his age he could even drive, and owned a car-great message for kids).

The storys were published until around 1963 and were hugely popular for decades thereafter. .

Now, after 45 Noddyless years, Enid's grandaughter has decided to revive the Noddy character.

Sophie Smallwood, who claims to be an author (yet I guess, not a successful one, as she is using granny's ideas for fame and fortune and not her own) is set to reintroduce Noddy to our modern times. She is retaining most of the characters, to stay 'true to the stories' (even bringing backing back that paedophilic character, Big Ears).

But, being terribly politicly correct, she has banished the Golliwogs from the 'new' stories due to their racial reference. This was also done in later reprints of old Noddy books as well, replacing them with other characters (below).Yet she has retained the underage driving concept.

Gollywogs were created in 1895 by Florence Upton, based on her dolls- Black Faced Minstrel Dolls. She had a whole string of picture books published about these characters. They were later made into dolls and were very popular toys for male children.(I kid you not)

However, it seems in the 1950's, race crept in (surprise, it always seems to), and Gollywog became a derogatory term for black people. Although, I am sure Enid wrote them in as toys for Noddy, which they were at the time, and with Nod's living in Toyland, well......he was surrounded by, this may have been missed by many- toys. (Enid spelled her character- Golliwog)

Two points about this- firstly, if she was going to go the politically correct route, surely she should have looked at Big Ears and their close friendship (I mean look at child abuse issues today) and of course the appearance she supports underage driving.(Proof above) The Golliwog is what it is- a toy. Why look at it as some racial slur? It is a toy character, residing in Toyland, where I guess toys live.

And second point- why do people with seemingly limited talent, piggy back their attempts of success on other's success.

To rain, or not to rain

Once again, we have been promised rain by the weather people...and as we all know, it is more of a toss of a coin than any real prediction.They do admit that they cannot guarantee their predictions, yet we still listen with anticipation when the Weather comes on.....I do I have to admit....sucker I guess.

Now this is stranger....I have monitored different sources, E TV, SABC, Weather 24 and SA Weather. I would presume they obtain their weather predictions from the same sources. However, sometimes they do differ. For example last week. SABC told us that there was a 30% chance of showers....Weather 24 told us 100% for the same day.........and the reality....no rain at all. Granted it was cloudy, and rain did look promising but nothing.

Now, I look forward to my storms, and feel a tingle of excitement when thunder storms are predicted. So, you can just imagine my sulky little face when they do not pan out.

Can't wait to listen to the weather just now to see if it will rain today.

Prison Break South Africa- A fairytale

I think it would be appropriate to begin this article- Once upon a time. You see, this is a story about miracles and would it not be real, would be, too fantastic to be a fairy tale.

Well, once a time there was a chap, let's call him Schabir Shaik. Now, Schabir was your usual dishonest guy, who, like many, accumulated millions from dodgy deals and dishonest relationships. He lived the good life, with his equally honest brothers. The Shaik's had contacts in high places and many friend in political circles.

Now like any good tale, this one has twists and turns.

It so happened the sheriff, going by the name of the Scorpions and the National Prosecuting Authority caught up to Schabir's wrong doings and in an unfortunate turn of events, our poor Schabir was sentenced to 15 years in the dungeon for fraud and corruption. (One name was mentioned in conjunction with his during the judgment- that of another colourful fantasy character- Jacob Zuma. This however, is another long, but amusing story on it's own. )

Behind bars for a short while, our hero suddenly developed chronic hypertention, causing him to be confined (used very loosley here) to his prison hospital ward. Due to his terrible affliction, he was allowed to have visitors and ate good food (and wine it has been reported)-unlike the other prison inmates, who had to sit and rot and eat slop.

Yes, Mr Shaik played the system like Slash plays a guitar. Brilliantly.

But after spending 28 months as a guest under the correctional services, (one cannot say 'jail', as that would imply he was actually in jail) he submitted an application for medical parole. Of course, despite everybody protesting, screaming and objecting, our hero was granted medical parole as he was so gravely ill, each breath could have been his last..

(Section 79 of the correctional svc act of 1998 tell us medical parole should only be granted to people in the 'final stages of a terminal illness'-it seems HIV/Aids does not count as very few people are granted this rare gift)

Shame, Mr Shaik was allowed to go home and enjoy his last couple of days or weeks with his shady family. This was the least the system could do to somebody who gave so much of himself (and his wealth) to politics.
(Prior to his release, he even got a hefty payment, being the interest from the fortune that had been confiscated from him due to it being gained under questionable means-it just got better for our hero)

Now in the modern times, we often overlook divine deeds and miracles- but it happened. Schabir, whom we all know was 'knock knock knocking on heaven's (or probably hell's) door' made a miracle recovery.
He was reported to have been seen at his wife's birthday party in an expensive restaurant, seen driving round in his luxury (nothing is too good for our hero) car, and even reported to have been seen playing a round of golf. (Sightings almost reached that of Elvis and Nessie proportions).
He was alive and seemingly pretty well. Now, either this was a modern day miracle, or somebody has really tried to fool us...

The breaking news now is that our Schabir Shaik apparently applied for a Presidential Pardon in May 2008, when Mbeki was President. The application was lost in the system (of course) and now, that we have a new president, has found it's way to the presidency. Great timing I say.

The presidency in turn have stated that (this is really good) they will handle the application 'like any other pardon'. Seriously- they expect us to swallow this. Mr Shaik's luck, like his improvement in health, is on the up. The very person that was implicated with him in fraud and corruption, Mr Zuma, is now the President. (Mr Z is also a wonderful player of the system-probably better than Shaik, as he appointed the right people to the right positions to get his charges dropped- once again-brillaint)

Now it is up to Jacob Zuma to grant or not grant the pardon.

I think it would be safe to say that our hero, Schabir, will be granted the pardon (to all of our surprise), and he and his brothers and his friends, will live happlily ever, after making more and more money from great business deals.

The Bomb and the President

During the term of old George W, the US was working on a massive bomb called 'Massive Ordnance Penetrator' or MOP. Let's put it into perspective- the weight of the precision guided bomb is a gigantic 15 tons- of which 2,400kgs are explosives. It is designed to destroy hidden bunkers and weapons centres under 5 tons of reinfored concrete. Perfect for destroying tunnels, caves and underground weapon storage or control facilities. The most largest and most destructive non- nuclear weapon on earth.

Under instruction from Mr Nobel Peace Prize winner, The Pentagon has awarded a contract for a hefty $52 million (R 384 million roughly) to speed up the completion of this bomb and have it ready to be delivered by a B-2 Stealth Bomber-they are hoping for the middle of next year.
Of course The Pentagon and Washington say that they don't have any states in mind as targets, but in the same breathe mention Iran and North Korea as examples of situations where they could use it.

Mr Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, not for what he has done, but for his willingness to do good and his potential to do so....makes sense?...not to me. (May as well award Prizes for science to people who have great theories-who needs proof that they are correct hey?)

Many people have the potential to do good- but history shows us that intentions and potential are not always realised. Truth be told, Obama has extended a hand of friendship, but it has not been unconditional. He has kept the threat of military action very much alive and the bomb project proves this. Furthermore, he is sending more troops into Afghanistan. Is this a peaceful move? (Oh it's to fight terrorism)
Has he really changed the world yet? His moves of reconciliation towards Russia and China (the country with the best human rights record on earth) are largely motiviated by his need for them to vote with the other members on the UN Security Council in the Iran and North Korea nuclear stand-offs.
 He has not really even changed America. Don't get me wrong, I think he has the qualities to be a good president, but he is a new president and has not been in the role for long enough to judge whether he will live up to expectations or not.

I, for one, think political figures should be judged AFTER their term in office, or at least past half way into their first term. Look at old GW. At the beggining of his term, he was so popular- striking back against terrorism so quickly. What a guy. Things turned around for the worst in that case.
Obama may just be the same. He is new, his thinking is fresh and he is trying to be friends with everybody-shaking hands with one hand (but in the other, he still holds the stick to beat them in need). Or he may just be the person we need to set the world right. The appropriate word is 'may'......

In my most humble view, The Nobel Peace, or any Nobel prize, should be awarded to somebody who has deserved it by deeds done and not deeds he intends to do.

Air Cover

The Citizen newspaper of the 14th October 2009 had a long article about our lack of air defence capabilities. The usual 'numerous sources' was used, as well as some so called expert from Jane's Defence Weekly, who made comments, that upon investigation, turned out to be utter rubbish. He contends that no missiles have been developed for the new SAAB JAS39 Gripen fighters, which South Africa have purchased. According to numerous websites, this is not the case, with an array of missiles, including air to air and water skimming anti-ship missiles, are readily available. Think the point is, no missiles have been purchased by our Air Force yet. (above is a picture of a Gripen with the missiles that have yet to be designed)

Since the purchase of these aircraft began, it has been clouded in controversy. Firstly a report was submitted to parlaiment, by none other than Shamin 'Chippy' Shaik (brother of the other esteemed Shaik, who is now seconds away from meeting the Grim-Reaper we hear- Shabir) while he acted (there is an accurate word) as Defence Aquistions Chief. He cleverly persuaded the power that sign the cheques, that our current flock of Cheetah aircraft was obsolete.
In 1999, a R60 Billion deal was approved to purchase new planes and weaponry.
Turns out the Cheetah Fighter (Picture below this paragraph)was, and still is not yet obsolete- Ecuador is purchasing  a minimum of 12 and Chile want 9 more. With maintenance plans from Denel, till 2015. Obsolete my.......well, I have my doubts.

Further research revealed that a number of countries are investigating Gripen deals, namely Britain, the Czech Republic, Switzerland, Australia, Sweden and the USA. The allegations that governement official have been bribed in many deals relating to the purchase of Gripens. The Czech republic are far into an investigation about the purchase of Gripens and high levelled government officials have been named.
The name Shaik pops up with regard to our military deal.....and a number of others who will not be touched, involved or not.

The point of this article is not to investigate the shadey dealings of the people in high places though. It is to gasp at the frightening reality that currently, we have no air to air capability to speak of.
Instead of using funds to maintain the Cheetah C (Which in Air Combat Maneuvering Excercises, compared favourably to the F15), a plane which is obviously in operational standard, 'the powers' decide to mothball them and buy a new fleet of shiney new Gripens.
Of course nobody sat down to realise that, when you retire your fleet of old planes, the new fleet should be battle ready before you send the old ones to fighter heaven.

In a move that makes NO sense, we have however, purchased missiles for the Hawk trainer. (Pictured below paragraph) A plane with a relatively low top speed, and with no hope of out manauvering or intercepting any other fighter aircraft. In need, this is all we have!
The crest of the air force wave, the Gripen, has no missiles and it seems there is no plan in the near future, to purchase missiles either.

There are about two Cheetahs, that are used for airshows, that could be used in need. But, in another brilliant defence move, SAAF have retired the Boeing refuelling tankers- so, we have aircraft that have a very short range.
Then it comes to the lack of trained pilots, which is a well known problem. Coupled with poor maintenance, the Air Force paintbrush does not paint a rosey picture. I have spoken to many retired SAAF personell and they describe a grim scenario.

We are lucky at the moment that we have no immenent threat to our skies. But we have been warned by experts of terrorist activity during the 2010 (hope I can use those numbers without being sued by FIFA). Should some bright spark, who modelled his terrorist career on the Twin Towers pilots, decide to use a packed stadium as a landing strip- we are pretty screwed.

Picking the mushroom clouds

From the very first tales of humans, there have been tales of conflict. Humans, it seems, just could never get along. There was, and there still is, so much to fight about- land, minerals, religion, race, culture....the list is close to endless. From the early days when we had nothing, we forged weapons to hunt- and to kill each other in clashes. As the years went by, our technology grew and so did the efficiency of our weapons.

The key to many conflicts was superior weaponry. Especially if you were outnumbered or fighting on foriegn soil- usually your weapons were what helped you win battles. This need for the best and most destructive led us onto a path from which we will never retreat.

During World War Two, the face of war changed forever. We leaned how to use the Atom for war. During August 1945, the USA dropped two Atomic bombs on Japan. The result was devastation. We had invented a weapon far more destuctive than anything before, and since.

Luckily this weapon has never been used again in war. However, many counties have stockpiles of these weaopons of mass destruction (a word made popular my good old George W). The US has some 2600 active warheads from an estimated total of 9400 and Russia is estimated to have 4718, from a total thought to stand at 13 000. Other countries that have the weapon are the UK, France, China, Pakistan, India and Israel (not confirmed but we all know). In addition to stockpiling nukes, we have spread them across the globe as well as steamlined their delivery systems. From the old bomb that was first used, we have developed intercontinental ballistic missiles, which are delived by a long range rocket that flies out of the atmosphere for a while before re-entering on it's way to the target. They have been placed on ships, submarines, rocket launchers and trucks. The US has even built other missiles to intercept the incoming nukes.

Luckily, for now, nobody has launched a strike.During the Cuban Missile Crisis, we reportedly came close and there have been one or two mistaken missile launches that have been closer than we know. (Reading reports from retired military people and documents released under the Freedom of Information Act, by both Russia and the States)

The two newest boys on the big bomb block, India and Pakistan, could possibly be the weak link in our 'peaceful' chain. They share a border and it is no secret that they do not get on. Both have extremist leaders in their midst and should they ever fall into an all out war, it could possibly lead to somebody pushing the big button. Then there is North Korea and Iran who are also suspected at chasing the mushroom dream. Both of these states are led by leaders who would be locked up as psychpaths, if they were not autocratic rulers, ruling from a throne of fear. Would they hesitate to launch warheads at any time? Especially when you consider Iran's views on Israel and the contineous threats towards Israel and the West.

Terrorism is another viable threat. Should anybody from any country, be a supporter of any terrorist group, the wrong material could fall into their grubby little hands, and then we know where that would lead. The obvious danger comes from Iran and North Korea, as well as poorly guarded Nuke sites in Russia and the terrorist cells know to be in Pakistan. This threat is not as far fetched as we may presume.

So, we have created the perfect weapon of destruction. Having said that, it is also the perfect weapon of suicide because any leader entering launch codes and pushing the magic button, will be condemning us all, including themselves. With a nuclear weapon there is no such thing as a surgical strike. You strike big, and there will be a backlash. And once the enemies have finished trading nuclear blows, there will be little left on earth worth fighting for. Those who do not vaporise in the initial blast or get punched to death by the shock wave, will have to live with the fallout of radioactive material being blown thousands of kilometres, which will contaminate everything from drinking water to food and animals, including the great rulers of the planet. Soot, thrown up will cover the sky and no warmth from the sun will enter. Temparatures will reduce between 10 and 30 degrees celcius. The remaining glowing people will then die in the ensuing nuclear winter. Along with most life on the planet.

This is a frightening reality. It makes you consider whether the scientists sitting around the table during the Manhattan Project, smiling from ear to ear, ever anticipated the result of their creation? And if they had realised the magnitude of what they were creating, would they have continued?

I guess not. It is human nature. The powers may sign treaties to reduce the numbers of warheads, but in the end, they will still leave enough killotons to turn earth to Mars.

The new sex symbol

After twenty years on television, one of the world's best known celebrities is to appear on the cover of the November issue of Playboy. (and to grace the pages therein)
No, this is no joke. To mark the Simpson's 20 years on TV, as well as an attempt to boost dwindling Playboy sales figures, it was decided to persuade Marge Simpson to pose for the once gound breaking men's monthly magazine. Unfortunately, for all you toon perves, she will not be naked, but tastefully posing in lingerie. There will even be an interview with the well known actress with the tower of blue hair.

There is obviously controversy over this because many people have very closed minds and allow themselves to be easily offended. I think it is brilliant.
The move had generated so much publicity already that this issue is set to be one of Playboy's best sellers.
Hugh Heffner, the founder of the the Playboy empire (and the envy of millions of males) will not invite Marge to the mansion, as we know she is a happily married woman. Nor is there talk of luring any other toon celebrities to the prestigious pages of Playboy.
The above picture is the apparent cover as it will be released.

Lightning Season

On a weather note- I am pleased that we have now entered lightning season......and this means I get to take more photos of one of my favourite subject matters.....okay, lightning for those of you who need it explained.

Seriously though, I am hoping for a great storm season with loads of electric activity.

Above is the my first lightning pic of the season......let us hope there are many, many more...

Saturn's new ring

For those of us who are interested in astronomy, it was reported by NASA that The Spitzer Telescope has recently discovered the largest ring around Saturn, at the far edges of it's planetary system.(about 5,95 million kilometres from the planet).

The ring, consisting of a combination of ice and dust particles, has not been visible to other telescopes as it is diffused and does not reflect enough visible ligh. The Spitzer, however, views the universe in infared and because the ring glows with thermal radiation, this telepscope was able to detect it. It is estimated this ring has a width of some 11,9 million kilometres. It is so huge, that it would be able to accomodate 1 billion Earths.

Up until now, only seven major rings were known, imaginately name A-E. In addition there are a number of fainter rings.
One of Saturn's moons, Phoebe, orbits within this new rings and orbits the same direction as the ring. This is the opposite direction to the other rings and most of Saturn's other moons, including Iaptus.

Further information is that The Spitzer Telescope was launched in 2003 and orbits around the Sun. It is currently some 106,2 million kilometres from Earth.

How a bank says thanks

I read an article that reflects many banks' attitudes towards their staff- and those of you who have worked in the bank will know what I am talking about.

On July 28th, 2009, a robber stormed into the Key Bank in Seattle, Washington, with the intention of robbing the bank.

An awake teller, Jim Nicholson (30) noticed that the idiotic robber had no weapon and thinking quickly, overpowered the misguided crook and held him until the police arrived. A true hero I would say.

But, the bank, being the bank, thanked Mr Nicholson for his heroic deed, and for possiobly saving them money, by firing him on the 30th July 2009. The reason- he did not follow bank laid down procedure!!

I say no more...

The missing skull mystery

Adolf Hitler- a name that is known by virtually everybody as a vicious ruler. Well known for his hate of jews, homosexuals and pretty much everybody that was not perfect, by his definition. Better known for the deaths of millions in concentration camps.

Towards the end of 1945, the Soviets were advancing on Berlin. The Germans sensed defeat.
Mr Hitler, everybody's favourite Fuhrer was holed up in a bunker with his parter, Eva Braun. Allegedly fearing capture, he did the only thing any real gentleman would do- he shared his cyanide captules with his partner, who supposedly died from this poison, hours before Mr Hitler himself, died. He was reported to take a cyanide tablet- and then shoot himself. Obviously seeing Eva perish from the poison was not enough proof of the effectivness of cyanide. The date, 30th of April 1945- Hitler was 56.

The story goes that SS soldiers fueled up and burned both bodies, before burying them. Of course, a scull with a bullet hole, was left relatively unburned as evidence. A long while after the burial, the Soviet army found the remains, and after a dental confirmation conducted by the Russians, announced that they had found the remains of our two outlaws. Conviently though, the report proving this, remained secret, held within the iron tombs of the infamous KGB.

Despite many conspiracy theories and reported sightings of the old Dictator, it was accepted that he had met his death in the bunker and that the skull and jaw bone were proof of his death. This, despite any decent investigation into the death of the renowned mass murderer.

Fast forward to September 2009. A certain Mr Bellantoni, an archaelogist from Connecticut, flew to the now, much friendlier Moscow, and retrieved DNA swabs from the skull, for testing.
After conducting DNA analysis, it was established that the skull of old Adolf, is in fact that of a woman, aged between 20 and 40 years of age at the time of dying. (not a 56 year old insane male)

This casts serious doubt about the truth behind the convenient tale of him doing what millions would have gladly done for him- blowing a hole in his skull. Now, absence of evidence does not mean absence of the event. But if you look at some facts, I do believe that there is room for doubt of the official story.

The only people who corroborated the suicide story were Nazi's (who came up with it in the first place). The Nazi's quickly burned and buried the bodies of two people, who they claimed to have been their former CEO and his partner. The Soviets came across these buried bodies a long time after the burial and thus a long time after the claims of Hitler's demise.
There would have been more than enough time to arrange a safe get away, supported by his followers or even certain Soviets who may have been sympathetic towards Hitler's cause.
Furthermore, upon discovery of the bodies, and finding an intact skull and jawbone, they were able to conduct dental tests to establsih identity. Why did the Soviets not make this investigation open to scrutiny? Why was it kept a KGB secret? More worrying, is why in  the world did the Allies so readily accept the story fed to them, when there was little proof of it's truth other than hearsay?

After WW2, the cold war began and the relations between the 'free' West, led by the USA and the Communist Russian, resulted in a major arms race. This would not have been an ideal setting for information sharing. Having said this, more effort should have been put into the confirmation of Hitler's death.

I am sure that Adolf is now really dead ( he would be over 100 if he wasn't). I am also pretty sure that most of his henchmen who burned and buried the bodies, are burning in the same place as he is right now. This latest finding will further inspire already existing conspiracy theories and speculation by historians. We may never know the truth.
I still think we need to question the motives of the Allied leaders, who so quickly sold their populations the 'Suicide Story'. Did they know the truth? Or were they so happy to see the end of Nazi Germany (and the war against them) that they would have accepted or supported any story or plan, that saw the back of Adolf Hitler?

Magic in Limpopo

In the US of A there is a game of sorts, called Find Wally. In Limpopo Province in South Africa there is a game called find the ambulance.

Yes indeed. In South Africa, it is a badly kept secret that our provincial and municipal Emergency Services are in a mess. I know from first hand experience that this is the case, having been in a field where I had close contact with the EMS stations and departments.

We are in desperate need of new vehicles and of course, better trained and equiped EMS staff.
During 2007, Limpopo province addressed this situation and purchased 100 shiney new ambulances at a cost of some R60 million .
However, it was reported in the Sowetan 0n 6th October that 80- yes, allow me to spell it out- EIGHTY, of these ambulances have 'poof', dissappeared. In a trick that would have done David Copperfield proud, it is alleged that the EMS manager, Bim Kerupashad and Admin head, Herbert Phaahla, have pulled a non entertaining trick from their box, by making 80 of these ambulances dissappear.

When contacted for comment, the spokesman, Selby Makgotho, surprisingly just said there was an investigation and refused to comment further. Shock and horror- a government official not commenting on allegations of fraud and corruption. Now that does not happen often.

I guess I am not concerned about the fact that 80 of these much needed ambulances have been magically turned to 'money', nor am I concerned that this whole issue will, like the ambulances, just vanish- what I am really doing is highlighting the names of the two allegedly concerned, so we can track their rapid progress up the political ranks now that they have the relevant qualifications.

Pirates of the streets

Piracy is a massive industry. I am not referring to the pirates on the high seas, which still do exist pretty freely to this day, in one form or the other. I am referring to piracy of films, music, T shirts and so on.

Let me begin to say that I do not support or agree, or even try to justify this or any type of piracy.
Having said that, I am going to try to look at the reasons behind it.

One reason, it the speed at which items like movies or music are released. Often there is a massive hype around such releases, aimed at drumming up support and anticipation. This fanfare is not wasted and a need is created. The hungry public cannot wait for the release. Then of course, somehow it is leaked and finds it's way into the black market- where people can purchase these items, often well before their official release. Many cannot resist this juicy temptation, and purchase the forbidden fruit just to see it early. Added to this, release dates are staggered worldwide. Thus we can buy copies of pirate movies for example, before it is released on cinema here. Granted, it is a dodgy copy, filmed by some genius with a cam and a tripod. And if you can get past the people standing up every now and then, the chuckling and chatting and the occasional camera fall, then wow, you see it early. It sounds silly, but people still pruchase these copies. Others are pirated at the studios, and these are of a better quality.

Another, and I think the driving cause of piracy is cost. In South Africa, new DVDs are around R159 and CD's about the same. Piated DVD's range from R30 to around R60. Branded T shirts at the mainstream shops range from R150-R300, sometimes more. Rip-offs are priced at bewteen R50 to around R120. (You can haggle of course)
The majority of our population earn very low salaries and don't have money to spare to purchase high priced items. Even those that can afford the high prices, would prefer to pirate items-which usually have a much lower quality that the authentic item. This to me, goes a long way of indicating that price is an overiding factor.

When visual and audio shops or even clothes stores have sales- they reduce the prices of these items to ridiculous levels. I do not think that they would sell the items at a loss, thus are making some profit from these 'sales'.This raises the question- what greedy profits are they aiming for by marking these items up on release?

The artists go on TV, climb out of their luxury cars, and cry because they are being robbed out of much needed funds. How many are really battling financially like their fans- I can honestly say, not many. Just look at how many reside in posh suburbs.
Each industry, be it clothes outlets or the visual audio industry, gripes about piracy and the damage it is doing. I have no doubt it does.
Of course they do not confront the root cause though.
In their corporate meetings when they sit all proud of the millions they are making, when they chuckle at putting up prices and look, with glee, at projected profits, they will not admit that they are the root casue of piracy. They are adding fuel to the piracy fire, due to the fact is they won't decrease prices.

The reality is, piracy will never die. Having said that, reduced prices would bring it down by a massive percent. Many people would prefer to purchase the authentic item, often of better quality, if it were a more affordable price. I don't purchase pirated DVD's or CD's- not because I have any moral problems therewith, because frankly I don't. (yes, yes, I know it is wrong)I would rather be patient and purchase the items on sales, where I can buy the quality item.

My message to the corporates- look at the reasons for piracy, accept you are the cause, and fix it!